Coming Clean
by thisfairytalegonebad
Summary: Rei thinks it's finally time to tell his best friend an important thing about himself. [coming out; platonic relationship; light angst with a happy ending]


"Rei-chan, have you ever had a girlfriend?" Nagisa asked one day on the train home, kicking his feet lazily as he looked at Rei.

Instantly, Rei felt his entire face heat up, and once again he mentally cursed himself for always blushing so easily.

"Wha- Nagisa-kun!" he protested.

Nagisa shrugged. "I was wondering, you're always so cool around girls, so maybe you've got plenty of experience already." He winked at Rei, who blushed just a bit more (however that was possible).

"I'm- no, no, I've never had a girlfriend," Rei muttered, decidedly looking anywhere but at Nagisa.

Nagisa turned to face him, cheeks puffed out. "What?! That's not fair, how are you still so calm and collected around them?"

The way Nagisa sulked beside him made Rei laugh despite his embarrassment, and once it appeared that Nagisa wasn't going to ask any more questions about his love life, he was able to regain his composure as he deliberately steered the conversation away from girlfriends, and to the exams they were going to study for that night.

"Can't we go do something fun instead?" Nagisa asked with a dramatic sigh, but Rei shook his head.

"If we study now, we will have the rest of the weekend to ourselves. We can go out for ice cream tomorrow, if you'd like?" he proposed instead, knowing he'd won already by bribing Nagisa with sweets.

Nagisa slumped in his seat. "Fiiine," he agreed, making it very clear that he didn't like the decision one bit. "But you're staying over tonight, aren't you?"

"Of course!" Rei assured him. Sleeping over at someone's house had taken some getting used to, at first, but at this point, Nagisa's house felt like a second home to him. They'd made it a habit for them to spend the night at each other's houses on the weekends, and Rei secretly found himself looking forward to it every week. "That way, we can study right until we go to bed!"

It had been a joke, of course, not even Rei was that serious about studying (most of the time), but the loud suffering groan Nagisa gave in response told him he'd successfully tricked him into thinking he was serious.

Rei hid his smile by adjusting his glasses.

* * *

Despite feeling at home in Nagisa's room, Rei couldn't sleep. Nagisa's question from earlier haunted him, and maybe it was a sign for him to stop postponing the inevitable and just come clean with Nagisa.

"Nagisa-kun," he whispered, "are you asleep?"

There were a few seconds of silence, during which Rei didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed, but then Nagisa sheets rustled, and his friend whispered back, "No, what's wrong, Rei-chan?" The quiet concern in Nagisa's voice made Rei feel warm inside despite his growing anxiety.

"Nagisa-kun… do you remember what you asked me earlier, on the train?"

More rustling sheets as Nagisa sat up in his bed. "Yeah, why? Did I make you uncomfortable? I'm sorry! I was just curious."

Rei exhaled slowly, shakily, willing himself to get his breathing back under control. "No, it is alright, it's just… I don't think I ever want to have a girlfriend."

The noise stopped as Nagisa went still in his bed. "What do you mean, Rei-chan?"

"Nagisa-kun, I think I am… I like boys, Nagisa-kun." There. Saying it had felt strangely anticlimactic, but the moment of silence that followed was absolute agony. What if… what if Nagisa hated him now? No, he probably wouldn't hate him. Rei seriously doubted Nagisa even had it in him to hate somebody. But disgust, perhaps, and rejection. He didn't know if he could handle it if Nagisa turned away from him. Or any of his friends, actually, but Nagisa was his best friend, he didn't even want to think about the possibility of losing him.

But then, finally, Nagisa spoke up. "Oh. Okay. That's okay, Rei-chan."

"You- really? You don't think I'm-" Rei hated the way his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence, and he hoped Nagisa hadn't noticed, but of course he had, because Nagisa was so observant, and so it only took him two seconds to climb onto the futon Rei was sleeping on, and to wrap him up in a strong hug.

"Rei-chan, no! You're my best friend, and I love you no matter what, and so do Rin-chan, Haru-chan, and Mako-chan! We all love you, and if anyone has a problem with you, we'll deal with them for you. Rin-chan will totally beat them up, and Haru-chan will help him. Mako-chan won't fight because he's too nice, but he'll stand there looking all scary because he's so huge! And I'll find a way to make their life hell, I promise!"

Rei found himself speechless, so he settled for hugging back just as fiercely. Despite their very significant height difference, Rei felt protected by Nagisa's arms around him, as if nothing in the world could hurt him. "Thank you." Thank you felt… not enough, but he couldn't find words that could properly convey the relief flooding his entire body. Nagisa didn't hate him. He was going to be okay.

"Thank you for telling me. Are you going to tell the others?"

Rei considered. He hadn't planned past Nagisa yet, but… "Yes, I will. I don't know when yet, but I will. You're the first one to know, Nagisa-kun. Beside my brother, that is, I think he knows… I didn't tell him directly, but I asked him for advice before I'd figured it out myself, and in retrospect, I believe he has known even before I have." He let out a sharp laugh that sounded way too high-strung and shaky, but he was practically shaking with relief, so he couldn't quite keep himself together.

"Well, I'll keep your secret until you're ready to share it, Rei-chan!"

Rei smiled. He didn't know how he deserved Nagisa, but he was so glad to have him.

They sat in silence for a while, still hugging, before Rei broke the silence again. "You really don't have to beat anyone up for my sake."

"Oh but we would !"

"Yes, I know. Thank you, Nagisa-kun."

* * *

 **Nagisa is a great friend, everyone needs a friend like Nagisa.**

 **The part about Rei's brother is a reference to the Free! Novelization, in which there is a conversation between Rei and his brother which sounds pretty fucking gay to me, so yeah, I totally think his bro knows about (and is cool with) Rei being gay before Rei himself does. Also, he's an awesome bro.**  
 **Comments absolutely make my day, please let me know if you liked this little fic**!


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